💔 What Is Self-Abandonment?

At its core, self-abandonment is when we disconnect from our own needs, desires, boundaries, or truth to be accepted, succeed, or feel safe.

It often happens so subtly that we don’t even realise we’ve left ourselves behind. We override inner nudges, silence our gut feelings, or push through burnout because “that’s what successful people do,” right?

For business owners, self-abandonment might look like:

• Saying yes to work that drains you because you're afraid of letting people down or losing income.

• Creating offers that look good on paper but don’t feel aligned in your body.

• Working long hours, skipping meals or rest, because rest feels “unproductive.”

• Ignoring your intuition because it doesn’t match what the marketing guru on Instagram said.

• Comparing yourself constantly and feeling like you're never doing enough, even when your plate is already overflowing.

It’s often driven by old beliefs like:

“My worth is in my output.”
“If I follow my joy, I’ll fail.”
“It’s selfish to put myself first.”

Ways to Start Healing Self-Abandonment

You're already naming such beautiful practices. I’d build on those with these gentle, doable steps:

1. Tune In Before You Act

Before making a decision, especially in business, ask:

What do I really want here?
Am I choosing this from fear, or from alignment?
Even a 2-minute pause before replying to a client or saying yes to a project can be an act of self-loyalty.

2. Track the Tiny Betrayals

Start noticing when you override your own needs.
It might be skipping lunch, forcing yourself to “show up” when you’re exhausted, or not speaking up in a collaboration.
The goal isn't to judge, just to notice. Awareness is the first step to re-choosing yourself.

3. Reparenting Moments

Ask: What do I need right now, and how can I give that to myself?
Sometimes it's rest, sometimes it's permission, sometimes it's boundaries.
Treat yourself like a child you love. Respond with gentleness and care, especially when you feel like you “should be stronger.”

4. Make Self-Loyalty a Daily Practice

Use a journal prompt like:

Where did I honour myself today?
Where did I abandon myself? What did I need instead?

Over time, this builds a stronger connection with your inner compass. It's not about perfection... it's about repairing trust with yourself.

5. Create a “Self-Devotion” Ritual

This could be something as simple as lighting a candle and checking in with your heart before starting work. Or closing your laptop at a certain time, no matter what.

The message is: I matter. My needs matter. My truth matters.

You’re not here to abandon yourself for your business.
You’re here to build something with yourself, rooted in your truth.

Start there. Start small.
That’s where the real magic is. ✨